risks.

I wear neutral colors. I choose my words carefully. I'm a lover, not a hater. I'm soft-spoken. I want to keep the peace. I don't like much attention.

But when I get down to business, the things that I need to write and say are difficult. They're controversial, maybe even offensive. They might hurt people that I love.

That's the battle I've been fighting on a daily basis and right now, right here. I'm only dusting off the iceberg - I haven't even begun to chip away at it. What's the answer? I need to write, I know that I need to write. Something in my gut tells me that my writing will never be what I want until I can confront the demons and write the hardest things. The fear, instinct, knowledge, emotion - I'm left nearly paralyzed.

I had a conversation yesterday about the challenges as an artist to separate yourself from your work. It is still nearly impossible for me. The words are an extension of self. They are intensely personal. I don't know how to make the divide.

A few months ago, Zoraida Cabrera posted here about this fear - and the fear of judgment.

In such cases, the best way to write is by embracing insanity. And with insanity I’m not only referring to the restless nights and endless days in front of a computer screen or with a pen and paper on hand, the unavoidable addictions to coffee and tea, and other unhealthy habits we writers suffer of while writing. With ”insanity” I’m also referring to those controversial and sometimes personal topics we really want to write about but we are afraid to write about, because we think others will judge us.

Why is human judgment so real and painful? Why am I crippled by my fear of what others will think? I can't give you the answers. And unfortunately, writing for human connection brings with it risk. All I can tell myself is, again and again, keep writing, keep confronting, keep risking. Be afraid, but don't let fear get in the way.

...usually the things we are most afraid to write about result into the best pieces we write.