lessons.

Many years ago, I read Wendell Berry's novel, Hannah Coulter. There was a lot to the story and a lot I don't remember. I do remember the title character reflecting on some lesson that someone in her life had taught her. And from there on, I began to note what lessons there were in my life, who was teaching them to me and whether or not I was hanging on to them.

Write about that.

Someone who loves me has been saying those words to me, and often. I have resisted them. I have resisted. I mean, I'm resisting them right now. I can't tell you why, or maybe I can. There are a lot of things that can make you freeze. Fear and doubt are two things.

And what is there to be afraid of? Someone asks me. And I answer, but the answer said out loud is much less believable. So maybe there is nothing at all. Nothing to be afraid of. No reason to resist. No more excuses. No more.

There are a lot of lessons I have learned. Haven't you? But I forget. For your sake, and mine, enough already. Life hands us a lot as it is, let's not ask it to teach us the same lessons twice. Here are a few that are on my mind tonight.

1. Believe in yourself more than anyone else.
Don't fight it, don't deny it, don't discourage it, don't resist it. When someone tells you that you're capable, that you're talented, that you're smart, that you're good - don't shake your head and blush. If they believe as much, you should believe it too. Even more.

2. Life will always be what you make of it.
Show up and put everything you have into this one life you've got. Sure, there are circumstances we can't control. It will always be so. But you know what? Today, I heard from a man who's parents and brothers dealt hard drugs and went to jail, one by one. I heard from a young woman who's mother kicked her out of the house and told her she wouldn't amount to anything. And they showed up anyway. I will never again say I don't have enough or there are too many obstacles. Shut up, be there and make it happen.

3. You have something to give.
And there is someone who needs you to give it.

Back in the day, I started writing here as a way to un-censor myself. Do you know what I mean? I told myself I'd just write, and write, and I wouldn't edit or delete or be hard on myself for what I said. I've lost that a bit these days.

I don't mean that I need to say anything and everything that's in my head. I just mean I need to shake out my shoulders a bit, crack my knuckles, close my eyes and just get back in it. That place where it just comes out of me and all these things fade into the background. You, the reader. Me, the writer. The screen, the keys, the clock ticking, the dishwasher chugging. When it's right, it's right...and all of this becomes a hum that is THE IDEA. The words just existing, hanging here in space, capturing some moment, some truth, some piece of life.

Is there someone out there that you could love? Love them.
Is there something out there that you could say? Say it.
Is there some person that you want to be? Be that person.

You think I'm saying this for you? Don't be silly. I'm saying it for me.