food.

I don’t write about food much here (really, ever). Strange, because I think about food, more or less, every waking moment. I love to cook, eat, and feed others. I love the creativity that comes with opening a refrigerator and asking, What can I make out of all this? I just love food.

There’s this desire that I believe comes with any creative urge to make something new. We all want to contribute our own thing. I don't think I’m alone in my instinctive need to make something original and unique, something that would make everyone say, Ah, we never thought of that!

But anyway, it’s bound to be an unrequited desire. It’s all been said and it’s all been done. I am slowly learning this lesson: it is less about original and unique, more about the truest expression of myself and my lens on the world. Authenticity - that is the business of this artist.

I love reading food blogs, but I would never never never dream of trying to write one. There are so many. There are millions. Everyone wants to write about food and take pictures of what they eat and pictures of what they make and pictures at restaurants and put the pictures on Instagram and on their blogs and...so on. I enjoy my share of food blogs, but it just seems too awfully popular to be writing one. That sounds very hipster of me, but even so, my reaction to a glut of food blogs is that I never write about food.

Still, it suddenly struck me as odd that in my attempt to truthfully express myself, I don’t ever talk about one of the few things I am always thinking about. So here’s what I have to say about food:

1. I always plan out my week’s menu.
2. I keep a running list of “food to use up” and spend too much time trying to think up clever things to make out of what I already have.
3. I get a ridiculous amount of joy when I come up with something good.
4. I easily spend an hour every night, after work and running, making dinner.
5. I firmly believe in packing a good lunch every day, the kind of lunch you look forward to eating. It makes even the worst days better when you have a good lunch.
6. I try something new at least once a week, but I have plenty of old standbys in the mix.
7. I always have black beans and garlic and olives and butter in the house.
8. I eat mostly whole, healthy, vegetarian foods - except if I’m home alone on a Friday night. If that’s the case, I’m probably shame-eating (a) takeout Chinese food, (b) cheese, olives, bread, butter, pasta or (c) a rotisserie chicken. Lately, I’m also probably shame-watching Felicity. (I know.)

Jacob says I get strange joy out of data-logging my life, which is true. I’ve been thinking of logging my meals (and getting excited about it). Much in the way I like to look back on what books I’ve read or what things I’ve written, I think I would enjoy looking back on the food I’ve made.

So listen: I didn’t have much to write about tonight, and I hadn’t even thought about what I might write all day. But here we are, you and me, and I’m writing and you’re reading (maybe). I’m not even editing, I’m producing good old word vomit (sorry, but that’s what it is). Anyway, I just want you to know that, as I’ve said, I’m showing up. Or maybe I want to remind myself. Either way, thanks for trudging through it with me.

This week, something I made:

• these falafels and this hummus,
• we ate them with some big kalamata olives,
• a bit of yogurt mixed with lots of dill and salt,
• some sliced cucumbers,
• and pita.

And tonight, true to form, I made a giant bowl of pasta and covered it with butter and parmesan cheese. Now that my writing is done....I need to watch Felicity.