momentum.

I want to tell you what J’s face looks like right now. He’s sitting in the corner in the working chair (which doubles as Rat’s napping chair). It’s gray outside and late in the day and we have one light on. Dark shadows are falling across his face. He’s trying to write something and his eyebrows look angry and his mouth is twisted into the shape of a baby that has just eaten a slice of lemon. He is quiet and staring intently at the screen of his computer and there is dramatic music playing softly and filling the room. He is taking breaks to diligently dust the keyboard with the corner of his sleeve. All this to say that creative, soul-baring work is hard, no matter who you are and no matter why you are doing it.

I started my new year’s writing challenge yesterday. It’s simple and easy enough and the only matter left is for me to follow it through. If you want to join in (or find your own version) here it is:

• Each day, read one section of Writing Down the Bones. These sections are usually no more than 2 or 3 pages long.
• Immediately after reading the section, freewrite for at least 5 minutes. The freewriting can be triggered by something in the reading, or an exercise she suggests, or it can be whatever it wants.
• That’s all.

If you’ve been a reader here for awhile (as far as I know, there are 2 and maybe occasionally 3 people reading, so we’ll soldier on together), you’ve heard me mention Writing Down the Bones. It may be cliche, but I absolutely don’t care - this book has been the single most influential thing in my writing life. I can’t even count how many times I’ve read it. I’ve read it over and over, but I’ve never forced myself to read it slow. And I’ve never sat with a pen, ready to write the moment she says, Why don’t you try this….?

I sensed today that I’m teetering close to the edge, the place where I resolve to form too many new habits all at once and then fail at all miserably. I haven’t run since I finished a half-marathon last fall, and I need to get back on the street, and I need to start doing the hip exercises the physical therapist gave me again. I will start that all soon, but I just want to let the habits I’m working on now sink in a bit more. The good news is that the fury of writing in December has made it almost (almost) easy to just plop down and write for this space. At least I remember how hard it can be, and how much easier it is when I don’t let up, and I’d rather stay here where its a little bit easier and a little bit less guilt-ridden.

I’ve had an idea for this space, and I think it might be a good one. I’m going to sit on it for a little while and make some notes and plans, etc etc, and then I’ll start to do something new.

I have a little piece of paper taped up, next to the writing calendars from September and October and November and December. It has the number 1 through 65 written on it, which is the number of sections in Writing Down the Bones. Over the next two months, I plan to cross each number off. This is how we keep going, how we build momentum, and how we ride it as far as it will go.