lessons.

For someone who lives for perpetual efficiency and self-improvement, it’s hard for me to make peace with the fact that life is basically about learning the same freaking lessons over and over again. Through every stage of life, you forget and you re-learn. It’s infuriating, but I guess it’s also human. 

I’m coming up on a big birthday. It feels important, but in the context of everything else happening and changing, it feels like a blip that will come and go. And I’ve never been one for wild celebrations, especially not when I’m the center of attention. My current plan to ring in the big 3-0? Fresh flowers, take-out fried chicken, and a bottle of Prosecco (and hanging out with my manfriend-for-life). And the actual day will be bookend-ed by a flood of visitors, old friends who make me feel like myself, and that’s something to celebrate.

So I’m working on my birthday list*. I’m feeling pleased with my progress on last year. I started writing my new list before I looked back at this last year’s list, and I’m also feeling a little surprised/not surprised by how many things are coming back around again. I may be resolving to BE CONFIDENT until the end of time, or at least until I’m 100, after which I won’t care. But I think that’s good, actually. It’s good to see myself as I am and as I want to be, to see my own strengths and weaknesses clearly.

So I'm just working, learning lessons, thinking/overthinking on life, and listening to the wild chorus of end-of-summer cicadas just outside my window.

Also, I’m eating frogs today like a boss.

*Birthday lists gone by: 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011.