belated.

In my mind, I still think we just moved. Life feels strange, like I’m in many places all at once. Truthfully, the last two months have felt like a lot of stress and a lot of everything has changed. I’ve let my stress level creep up higher and higher, and now I’m treading water in a place that’s a little too deep.

So I started writing my birthday list nearly a month ago, adding bit by bit, thinking about what I’ve done in the last year. But I dragged my feet in putting it up here. This one feels both monumental, but also…...not. I think, this is a big deal, and also I think, I feel the same. As of last Wednesday, I’m living in a new decade.

Last year looked like:

1. run another half marathon
2. plan personal, creative projects
3. fill a notebook (try several notebooks!)
4. streamline and actually implement workflow processing *productivity nerd alert*
5. start making homemade snacks every week
6. grocery shopping → bike (with some spankin’ new panniers!) (until a pannier got stolen, wah) 
7. participate in one bike activity (volunteer, hang out, ride, class, etc.)
8. plan a spring-time adventure trip with Jacob (maybe probably here?) (Istanbul! Prague!)
9. stop comparing myself to everyone else
10. read more fiction (goal: five novels) (somehow I only read one. sheesh!)
11. build a bike-friendly (minimalist) wardrobe
12. more cooking on the weekends/less cooking on weekdays
13. make at least one pie each month
14. can something (jam, tomatoes, apples, etc.)
15. continue buying investment clothing
16. watch a few classic films (that I haven’t seen)
17. complain less
18. grow more plants (to eat & to enjoy)
19. sew or knit ONE THING to put on my body
20. give natural deodorant the college try
21. write letter(s) one day each month (just one!)
22. create a meal-planning system and stick to it (this is my current inspiration)
23. BE DEBT-FREE
24. make this other blog into a thing I like/love/enjoy (or just delete it and turn it into a personal bizness website. HA!)
25. sew a set of cloth napkins + a tablecloth
26. really really really get rid of plastic ziplock bags (and plastic takeout containers)
27. listen to one book on tape
28. be kinder to + less critical of everyone around me (esp. the ones that I love)
29. be confident

This year, I’m thinking about living valiantly. I don’t know what that means, exactly. I’m not really into picking a *word* for my year, but for some reason this word feels important to me right now. Like I want to be heroic, for myself and for others, but especially for myself. I want to stretch out into what feels impossible, and then stretch further.

So, thirty things for my new decade:

1. run my 3rd half marathon AND/OR a marathon
2. make a biking friend in Chicago
3. finish writing two essays and submit one
4. build a freelance business
5. make homemade Christmas gifts
6. GET MARRIED
7. commit to meal planning & stick to the eating out budget
8. read 30 books
9. sew one piece of clothing
10. practice meditation
11. assume the best in people
12. purchase five high-quality pieces of clothing
13. actively worry less
14. stick with YNAB for a full year
15. keep criticism to myself
16. join a book club and/or writer’s group
17. plan a month-long trip next summer
18. learn new things
19. help Jake’s family tap the maple trees
20. knit a new winter hat
21. go on a roadtrip
22. practice chit-chatting strangers
23. canning! (jam? apples?)
24. finish two courses towards a Nonprofit Management Certificate
25. stick to the ‘no phone in bed’ rule
26. say what I think (or write it)
27. make a nature journal
28. make yogurt
29. find a place to volunteer
30. be confident

(I’ve been doing this lil’ birthday list thing for a few years. I love the shape it gives my year. It helps me see my days with intention, rather than waking up a year from now thinking what have I been doing with myself? Years past are here: 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014.)