the anti-to-do-list.

I didn’t write last night because:
-I went on a long run
-I had a load of CSA veggies to unpack and clean
-I needed to get ready for a weekend camping trip

I was tired last night, and I was still up until 10:30pm doing my chores. I can be pretty terrible at relaxing, especially on weeknights, because I always see all the things that need to be done (dishes, laundry, cleaning, organizing, food prep, and so on). It’s sort of ridiculous - a simple life for two people in a tiny apartment shouldn’t be that chore-laden.

A friend (HI LADYFRIEND!) has started setting aside one weeknight each week as her putter-around-the-house night. She doesn’t make plans, doesn’t go out, and gives herself time to catch up on whatever needs catching up on.

I’m less prone to doing things on weeknights, meaning most often, I’m going for a run, maybe a quick errand or two, and then I’m home. But in turn, I self-impose a huge amount of stress, because my mental list of chores and things to do always feels urgent. Like things I need to do. They all carry the same weight, which is the weight of guilt, which is the weight of I can’t enjoy doing other things while there are chores that need to be done.

I know its wacky. I’m something of a control-freak, and I impose it most on myself. Writing it down here is making me realize just how wacky it is.

All this to say that I’ve been thinking about giving myself one night each week (or maybe one each month?) where there is nothing on the to do list. There aren’t veggies that need to be washed and prepped. I don’t need to make something for dinner (or something for lunch the next day). I don’t need to worry about dishes or the ever-growing layer of dust on top of the bookshelf. I don’t need to sort and file the random collection of papers piling up on the table. I don’t need to write or feel guilty about not writing.

It would take a little more planning on my part to clear a night like that, but just imagine the beauty of a space where you never have to think I really should be doing...

Of course I don’t mean that I want a life of leisure, bon-bons on the sofa, etc. etc. But it would be wonderful (and I think good for me) to ease up a bit on the self-inflicted stress, and to give myself a little bit of creative wiggle room.

This weekend, I’m camping. And getting mentally ready for the last year of my twenties (truly). And spending quality time with the dude I love. And not doing any chores, because in camping-life, there are no chores.

p.s. I’m working on my birthday list right now.

p.p.s *spoiler alert* A weekly/monthly anti-to-do list day might end up on my birthday list.

p.p.p.s HELL YES I can write two blogs posts in one day if I want to. And HELL YES I can put a big X through yesterday on the calendar, because the first blog post counted for yesterday. Because HELL YES I make the rules.