wonderful.

Let’s start with the things I did before writing tonight:

1. Do laundry
2. Listen to a podcast
3. Make an elaborate dinner
4. Do core workout
5. Clean off the top of the refrigerator (And discover a carton of raspberries that’s been up there for THREE WEEKS. How did that happen? I can’t answer that. They didn't look like raspberries anymore.)
6. Fold laundry
7. Order panniers (!!!) for my bike
8. Do extensive bike forum research on why my rear rack doesn’t fit on my bike
9. Drink a second beer
10. Give Jacob a pep talk on his future as an artist

And finally, creeping past 10pm, I write.

I’ve been thinking all day about the ways that negativity has begun to permeate my life, and how I want to reign it in. I’ve been thinking about the ways that negativity and criticism and complaint feel like a drug. Right? You know the feeling? You find yourself on a bitch-fest with a coworker or friends, and it spirals down and down, and it feels so good to just vent and complain and you find yourselves feeding off each other. And an hour later, you feel…...hungover? Sad? Disillusioned? This is something I do and that is how it makes me feel.

I looked Jacob in the face tonight and said, I don’t want to look back and remember all of those really valid complaints I had. I want to remember that my life was wonderful. Because it IS wonderful.

It’s just perspective, right? It must be. Circumstance you can’t control. But perspective? You can control that.

p.s. I linked to it above, but I’m currently obsessed with this podcast. This episode is amazing, so is this one and this one and this one (so far I like them all). Get it.